Leading Like Jesus: The Power of Curiosity, Empathy, and Courage
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:28-29
In our fast-paced world of leadership, we often default to being “advice monsters” — jumping to solutions before truly understanding the hearts and needs of those we lead. But Jesus, the ultimate leader, demonstrated a different way. His leadership was marked by three powerful ingredients that transformed lives: curiosity, empathy, and courage.
Curiosity: Show up to a conversation with curiosity not certainty.
Jesus’ Example: Consider the woman at the well in John 4. Jesus didn’t approach her with assumptions or immediate answers. Instead, He asked questions: “Will you give me a drink?” This simple request opened a conversation that revealed her deepest needs. He remained curious about her story, her pain, her spiritual thirst.
For Christian Leaders: How often do we assume we know what our team members need? Jesus shows us that curiosity isn’t weakness — it’s wisdom. When we approach our people with genuine questions rather than quick fixes, we create space for authentic connection.
Practical Application:
- Replace “Here’s what you should do…” with “Help me understand what you’re experiencing…”
- Spend time being strategically curious before offering solutions
- Ask: “What matters most to you in this situation?”
Empathy: Care about what the people you care about care about.
Jesus’ Example: When Martha was overwhelmed with serving while Mary sat at His feet (Luke 10:38-42), Jesus didn’t dismiss Martha’s concerns. He acknowledged her worry and burden: “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things.” He saw her heart, understood her “because” — her desire to serve well — before gently redirecting her priorities.
For Christian Leaders: Empathy isn’t agreeing with everything; it’s understanding the heart behind the behavior. Jesus consistently demonstrated this by seeing past surface actions to core motivations.
The Language Shift:
Remember: “The least influential word on the planet is the word I.” How often do we start with “I think,” “I believe,” “I offer,” “I need”? Jesus rarely led with “I” statements when ministering to others.
Replace “I” with “You”:
- From: “I think you should…” → “You might consider…”
- From: “I offer…” → “You receive…”
- From: “I need you to…” → “You have the opportunity to…”
- From: “I believe…” → “You may find…”
- From: “We need…” → “You deserve…”
Jesus’ Example: Notice how Jesus spoke:
- “Come to you who are weary” (not “I want the weary to come”)
- “What do you want me to do for you?” (to blind Bartimaeus)
- “You are the salt of the earth” (not “I think you should be salt”)
- “Your faith has healed you” (not “I have healed you”)
Even when Jesus did use “I” statements, they were about what He would give TO them: “I will give you rest,” “I will make you fishers of men.” His “I” statements served their needs, not His agenda.
Case Study — The Rich Young Ruler (Mark 10:17-22): Jesus looked at him and loved him first, understanding his sincere desire for eternal life. Only then did He address the specific barrier — the young man’s attachment to wealth. Jesus didn’t lead with judgment but with empathy for his spiritual hunger.
Courage: The courage to make the next big step is not a big ask at all — it’s just an invitation to move forward.
But First: Have you earned the right to ask? You have to earn their context first. You can’t insert your agenda before you’ve invested in their world.
Jesus’ Example: When calling His disciples, Jesus didn’t overwhelm them with the full scope of their future ministry. He simply said, “Follow me” (Matthew 4:19). But notice — He had already spent time with them, demonstrated His character, and shown genuine interest in their lives. After building relationship and trust through curiosity and empathy, His invitations felt like natural next steps, not impossible leaps.
The Earning Process: Jesus didn’t lead with His resume or credentials. He earned the right to challenge people by first serving them, understanding them, and demonstrating that He genuinely cared about their wellbeing over His own agenda.
For Christian Leaders: Courage in leadership isn’t about making demands; it’s about creating environments where growth feels like a natural progression rather than a forced march. But this only works when you’ve first earned relational capital through genuine investment in your people.
Jesus Leadership Formula
Curiosity + Empathy = Trust
Trust + Courage = Transformation
When Jesus encountered Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10), notice the progression:
- Curiosity: He looked up and called him by name
- Empathy: He invited Himself to Zacchaeus’ home, showing he cared about relationship over reputation
- Courage: He didn’t demand change but created space for Zacchaeus to transform himself
Reflection Questions
- Curiosity Check: When was the last time you spent more time asking questions than giving answers with a team member?
- Empathy Audit: Do you know the “because” behind your team members’ behaviors and motivations?
- Courage Assessment: Are you making invitations or demands? Are your challenges feeling like natural next steps or overwhelming leaps? Most importantly: Have you earned the right to ask?
Remember: The Order Matters. Invest first, invite second. Serve before you challenge. Understand before you ask them to be understood. “It’s not you versus them — it’s you and them versus the challenge.” When we lead with curiosity, empathy, and courage, we create partnerships in purpose rather than power struggles. But first, we must earn our place in that partnership.
Prayer
Lord Jesus, You modeled perfect leadership through Your curiosity about our hearts, Your empathy for our struggles, and Your courage to invite us into transformation. Help me to lead as You led — with questions that honor dignity, understanding that builds trust, and invitations that inspire growth. May I be more interested in being an expert in people than in being right. Give me the humility to listen first, the wisdom to understand deeply, and the courage to invite others into their God-given potential. Amen.
This Week’s Challenge
Choose one team member and commit to:
- Having one conversation where you ask three questions for every statement you make
- Identifying their “because” — what truly motivates them
- Earning the right to make an invitation by first demonstrating genuine investment in their success
- Only then making one invitation for growth that feels like a natural next step