Jokes: What Is Marriage, According to Kids?

What is Marriage?

“Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don’t have to give her back to her parents.” — Eric, age 6

“If marriage is anything like spelling, I don’t want it. It’s too hard.” — Marty, age 7

“Marriage is what happens when two people are in love, and they go out to eat, and they like talking to each other so much their food gets cold and they don’t care.” — Pamela, age 7

What is the Proper Age to Get Married?

“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” — Bert, age 5

“I think 82 is the right age to get married. That way you can hold hands to keep each other from falling over, and nobody knows that’s what you’re doing.” — Steven, age 7

“I don’t want to rush into marriage. It’s hard enough just getting through the fourth grade.” — Ashley Marie, age 9

How Do You Know Who to Marry?

“You get shot with an arrow. I don’t know just how it works exactly, but I don’t think it’s supposed to hurt, then you feel all squishy when you’re with ’em.” — Bruce, age 10

“That’s a good question. I’ve been trying to hide from love and marriage since I was 5 years old, but girls keep trying to find me.” — David, age 8

How to Make Love Endure

“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” — Dick, age 7

“Don’t forget your wife’s name … That will mess up the love.” — Erin, age 8