How to Win by Admitting You Don’t Know
by Royce
“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” — Matthew 18:3-4
Have you ever walked into a meeting—whether in a professional boardroom or a ministry gathering—with this nagging thought: ‘You’re not qualified. You don’t have the right background. Someone’s going to find out you’re a fraud.’ (I feel this all the time).
Maybe it was your first day in a leadership position, surrounded by colleagues with impressive credentials while you wondered how you got there. Perhaps it was walking into a church leadership meeting, feeling like everyone else had their spiritual life together while you were still figuring things out. Or it could have been as simple as joining a project team where everyone seemed to speak a professional language you barely understood.
That sinking feeling in your stomach. The racing thoughts. The careful calculation of where to sit so you’re not too visible, but not so hidden that it looks suspicious. The internal voice that whispers: “What if they ask me a question I can’t answer? What if they realize I don’t belong here? What if this whole thing falls apart because I’m not who they think I am?”
This is imposter syndrome—and if you’ve felt it, you’re in excellent company. Research shows that 70% of professionals experience these feelings at some point in their careers. From Fortune 500 CEOs to church pastors, from startup founders to seasoned teachers, the fear of being “found out” haunts conference rooms and sanctuaries alike.
But what if I told you that the very feeling that makes you want to hide might actually be pointing you toward something profound? What if the solution isn’t building bigger walls of confidence or perfecting a more convincing professional mask? What if the answer is found in something Jesus said about becoming like children—and in a surprising insight from FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss about the power of curiosity?
When Jesus told successful, accomplished adults to “become like children,” He wasn’t suggesting they abandon professionalism or competence. He was revealing something revolutionary about how to approach uncertainty, challenge, and growth in both our professional and spiritual lives.
Watch a child enter a new environment. They don’t waste energy wondering if they belong—they immediately start exploring. They ask questions without shame. They assume good intent. They expect to learn something fascinating. They approach the unknown with wonder, not worry.
Now contrast this with how we adults typically handle new situations. We calculate risks. We compare ourselves to others. We focus on what we lack rather than what we might discover. We let fear narrow our vision instead of letting curiosity expand it.
FBI negotiator Chris Voss discovered something remarkable in the highest-stakes professional situations imaginable: curiosity and fear cannot fully occupy the same mental space. When we become genuinely curious about a situation—even a terrifying one—our brain shifts from threat-detection mode to exploration mode. The physiological responses might be similar (elevated heart rate, heightened awareness), but curiosity transforms fear into excitement.
This isn’t just psychological wisdom—it’s deeply spiritual. The same God who created us with an innate sense of wonder has given us curiosity as an antidote to the paralysis of imposter syndrome.
Consider Moses—perhaps the greatest imposter syndrome success story in history. Picture this: a former prince turned fugitive, a murderer hiding in the desert, a shepherd with a speech impediment suddenly called to the most impossible leadership role imaginable. When God appeared in the burning bush and offered Moses the position of liberating an entire enslaved nation, Moses responded exactly like any honest professional would:
“Who am I to go to Pharaoh? I’m not eloquent. I’m not qualified.”
Sound familiar? Moses was experiencing classic imposter syndrome on a divine scale. His résumé read like a cautionary tale: violence, exile, forty years of career stagnation in the wilderness. If anyone had a right to feel like a fraud, it was Moses.
But notice what happened when Moses shifted from focusing on his inadequacies to getting curious about God’s plan. Instead of continuing to list his deficiencies, he started asking questions:
- “What is your name?”
- “What if they don’t believe me?”
- “What if they won’t listen?”
Each curious question led to deeper revelation—the great “I AM,” miraculous signs, divine backing that no earthly authority could provide. Moses discovered that his biggest perceived weaknesses were actually strategic advantages in God’s hands:
- His forty years in the wilderness weren’t wasted time—they were graduate-level preparation for leading people through uncharted territory
- His speech impediment didn’t disqualify him—it positioned him to rely on God’s words and his brother Aaron’s strengths
- His outsider status wasn’t a liability—it was exactly what was needed to lead people out of their comfort zones
Moses learned that God doesn’t call the equipped—He equips the called. And He does His best work through people curious enough to ask “What might God do through this?” rather than paralyzed enough to ask “What if I fail?”
The difference between imposter syndrome and confident calling often comes down to the questions we ask ourselves. Consider these parallel internal dialogues:
Imposter Syndrome Voice:
- “I don’t have an MBA like everyone else in this room.”
- “I’m the youngest person at this leadership table.”
- “I’ve never managed a project this size before.”
- “I don’t know enough about this industry.”
Curious Faith Voice:
- “I wonder how my different educational background might offer a fresh perspective on this challenge.”
- “I’m curious what insights my generational viewpoint might bring to our strategy.”
- “What an opportunity to learn about scaling leadership. What approaches might work best with this particular situation?”
- “What a fascinating chance to learn something completely new. Who could I learn from? What could I discover?”
Notice the energy shift? Imposter syndrome drains and isolates; curiosity energizes and connects. Imposter syndrome makes us defensive; curiosity makes us receptive. Imposter syndrome focuses on what we lack; curiosity wonders about what we might contribute.
Practical Wonder
1. The Curiosity Question
When imposter syndrome strikes, interrupt the spiral with this question: “What is God wanting to teach me through this experience?” This simple shift from fear to wonder can transform your entire approach to challenging situations.
2. The Learning Leader Mindset
In meetings, lead with questions rather than statements. “I’m curious about…” “I wonder if…” “What would happen if…?” This positions you as a thoughtful contributor rather than someone desperately trying to prove they belong.
3. The Beginner’s Advantage
When you feel out of your depth, explicitly leverage your “fresh eyes.” Say: “Since I’m new to this area, I might ask some basic questions that could reveal assumptions we haven’t examined.” Often, the “obvious” questions are the most profound.
4. The Growth Portfolio
Track your challenges like investments. For each difficulty, ask: “What’s the potential return on this experience? What skills, relationships, or insights might I gain?” Reframe obstacles as opportunities for development.
5. The Divine Placement Principle
Remember that God has strategically positioned you where you are “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). Your unique background, perspective, and calling aren’t accidents—they’re assets. Your questions might be exactly what your team needs.
Some days, imposter syndrome hits before your first cup of coffee. The emails pile up, the meetings loom, and that familiar voice whispers: “You’re in over your head. Everyone’s going to figure out you don’t know what you’re doing.”
Here’s your reframe: God hasn’t called you to be sufficient in yourself. He’s called you to be faithful with what He’s given you and curious about what He wants to do through you.
Your colleagues might have different educational backgrounds, but do they have your unique perspective? Others might have more experience in certain areas, but do they bring your specific combination of skills and insights? Your competitors might have larger networks, but do they have your particular calling and passion?
Stop trying to be someone else’s version of successful. Start getting curious about your version of faithful stewardship.
Here’s a radical thought: What if your feelings of inadequacy aren’t disqualifiers—what if they’re invitations to adventure?
What if the very areas where you feel like an imposter are the places where God wants to display His power most clearly? What if your questions, your fresh perspective, your “beginner’s mind” are exactly what your situation needs? What if God delights in using the “foolish things of the world to shame the wise” (1 Corinthians 1:27)?
The Bible is full of people who felt completely unqualified for what God called them to do:
- Abraham was too old
- Moses couldn’t speak well
- Gideon was too weak
- David was too young
- Esther was too foreign
- Paul had too dark a past
Yet each of them discovered that their inadequacies became the very places where God’s adequacy shone brightest. Their weaknesses became strengths not because they overcame them, but because they got curious about how God might use them.
Ultimately, whether you’re in a corporate boardroom or a church board meeting, you’re not performing for human approval—you’re stewarding the gifts and opportunities God has entrusted to you. This doesn’t mean lowering professional standards; it means finding your worth in something more solid than performance reviews or peer acceptance.
When you know your identity is secure in Christ, you’re free to be genuinely curious about your work rather than defensive about your position. You can ask questions without fearing they’ll expose your ignorance. You can take on stretch assignments without needing to prove you’re the smartest person in the room. You can contribute authentically rather than performing perfectly.
This is the paradox of kingdom professionalism: the more secure you are in God’s love, the more risks you can take in your career. The more you depend on His strength, the more boldly you can lead. The more childlike your trust, the more mature your contribution becomes.
This Week’s Challenge: Choose Curiosity
Identify one area where you’ve been feeling like an imposter—whether in your professional life, ministry role, or personal relationships. Instead of trying to fake confidence, try a different approach:
- Get curious about your feelings. What specifically intimidates you? What assumptions are you making about what others expect?
- Explore learning opportunities. Who could mentor you? What resources could help you grow? What questions could you ask?
- Reframe your “weakness” as a potential strength. How might your fresh perspective, different background, or honest questions benefit others?
- Take one small, curious action. Ask one question, schedule one conversation, try one small experiment, or simply approach your next meeting with wonder instead of worry.
Remember: You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to stay curious about finding them. And the God who calls you is infinitely more interested in your faithfulness than your flawlessness.
Prayer
Father, as I face another day of challenges and opportunities, help me see through the eyes of a child. When imposter syndrome whispers its lies about my qualifications, remind me that You have positioned me here intentionally. When fear narrows my vision, expand it with holy curiosity.
Help me ask better questions, see fresh possibilities, and contribute from the unique place You’ve called me to occupy. Transform my anxiety into anticipation. Help me wonder: What will You teach me today? How will You use my work—and even my weaknesses—to serve others? What new insights and relationships await discovery?
I am Your beloved child, Your chosen representative in this place. Help me serve with excellence, lead with humility, and approach each challenge as an adventure in Your kingdom. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” — 2 Corinthians 12:9